Transforming Lives

I am not an addict!

There was a boy named Kerim who lived with his family. Kerim was 12 years old when he first encountered the internet in his country. Kerim and his family did not feel the need to subscribe to the internet until Kerim's school teacher told him that they needed the internet to find the correct answers to his class assignment. That day, Kerim asked his father to connect the internet to the house.

His father met with friends, trying diligently to gather more information about his internet subscription. Finally, his father managed to subscribe for an internet package.

Kerim started exploring the internet on his own and after a few days he started finding all the information he needed for his assignment. At lunch, he excitedly told his family about the internet and shared that there was much more information than he ever imagined. "It takes me to a different world," he said.

For the next 2 weeks, Karim returned from school, sat down for lunch with his family, but did not talk about the school day as he did before, ate quickly, and got up from the table to get to the computer as soon as possible. Over time, Kerim gained a new habit of eating lunch in front of the computer rather than at the table with his family. Some days he would get so caught up in surfing the Internet that he would forget about lunch and other tasks he had to do. His mother, unaware of the harm the internet would cause, would sympathize with him and bring him food so he could eat in front of the computer.

A few years later, Facebook was introduced for the first time in Karim's country. Kerim became very fond of Facebook; It caught his attention and kept him in front of the computer for longer.

By then, Karim's younger sisters had grown up and their parents had more time to do other things that they had not been able to do before. They were now able to pay enough attention to their son and educate themselves about the Internet. Surprisingly, after learning more about what spending long hours on Facebook can do to people, his parents concluded that Kerim had become a Facebook addict!

His parents tried to convince Kerim that he should spend less time on the internet and more time with his family, noting how his academic performance had declined compared to previous years and that he was no longer doing housework or keeping in touch with his friends. Karim's argument was: "I get more information from the internet and can connect with people from all over the world through Facebook!" His parents did not give up and shared the truth with him. They said, "Son, if you create the habit, it will grow as you grow. You have become an internet addict." In amazement, Kerim said, "I'm not an addict!" he replied.

These arguments were repeated many times, but to no avail, until some major underground internet cables were damaged, leaving the entire country without internet. Kerim felt uneasy when he heard this news. For the first time, Kerim didn't have internet at home. That evening, he ran to many of his friends' homes, hoping that there would be internet, but they didn't have internet either. He set out to a large internet shop 30 minutes away by bus, but found out that the computer network had been shut down with a poster on the door saying that they would be working again once the cables were fixed.

Kerim returned home disappointed. He went to his room, closed the door and sat on the bed without doing anything with his computer next to him. He refreshed the web page every half hour, hoping the internet would come back. At last he decided to fall asleep, but his sleep was restless; Even during the night he got up several times to check if the internet was back.

Kerim's situation went like this for a week. His parents tried to talk to him again and pointed to his situation as evidence of his addiction. "Son, do you see how you are acting without the internet now? Do you realize that you have been running around wildly in search of the internet in the past 7 days? Do you believe that you are addicted to Facebook and the internet now? You denied this fact in the past because you always had the internet, but now you are without the internet and look at yourself! "We beg you, my son, consider our words carefully. We love you and want the return of the old Kerim, who spent time with his family, helped his mother at home, and pleased his teachers with his high academic performance."

Kerim thought about his parents' words and realized that they were right. The next morning, he came to his parents and said, "I'm sorry." “I really am an addict. Please help me let go." His parents cried happily, hugged him, and promised to help him.

The next week, the cables were repaired. However, Karim asked his father to suspend his internet subscription for a month until he was fully recovered. His mother told him to join a gym and meet up with his old friends, which Kerim did. He chose to be busy and productive for a month so that he could use the Internet safely the next time. After 2 months, Kerim and his family decided that he was free from internet addiction and was living a balanced life.

Today, Kerim is the manager of a food factory and the father of his beloved 5-year-old daughter. Kerim manages his time wisely between his factory, his family, his parents and his sisters.

How did Kerim become addicted?

What helped Kerim realize that he was actually an addict?

2. "Better late, never sooner"

A telecommunications company had a CEO named Ahmet. Ahmet had two sons. One day, Ahmet was at a business meeting in another country, 10 hours away from home. After a long day of meetings, Ahmet returned to his hotel room and decided to rest while watching the news.

On the news broadcast, he saw that his hometown had experienced an earthquake that lasted only 4 minutes but left hundreds dead and thousands injured.

Ahmet started to shake while watching the news and could not believe his eyes. The journalist listed the collapsed places, including the school where his wife was teaching and his children were studying. After getting his emotions under control, Ahmet called his wife and children, hoping they would pick up the phone, but they did not. He called again but still couldn't reach them. So Ahmet took the earliest midnight flight he could get and returned to his country.

Ahmet arrived in his country 16 hours after the earthquake occurred. He hurriedly turned on his computer to listen to the latest news about the earthquake. He was filled with doubts about his family's survival, but what made the situation worse was watching bodies being recovered from the rubble. He thought they were dead by then. "It's too late to call my family now." he thought.

Ahmet boarded the plane while struggling to overcome his overwhelming fears. He reached his home four hours later. Then he called a taxi to go to school. On the way, he turned on his computer to listen to the latest situation again. This time the news gave a list of names of people rescued from the rubble. They were all dead.

Ahmet finally reached the rubble of the school. The sight of the wreckage made him certain that his family was dead. He knelt down and, covering his head with the dust of the debris, began to cry and scream loudly in pain. His heart seemed to collapse inside him and he lost every shred of hope he had that his family could survive. He cried for a long time until all his energy was gone. He lay on the rubble, lost in thoughts of his wife and children; He remembered how much he loved them, the real smile on his face every time he looked at them, the quality time he spent with them and the stories they shared. His older son stared at him and said confidently, "Dad, you are my superman. Whenever I am in danger, you save me." He remembered that moment when he said. When he thought about this, Ahmet was tempted to jump onto the rubble and dig with his hands to look for them.

Thinking that he might have lost his mind because of his family, the rescuers held him: "Calm down, sir, calm down; it's too late. They're already dead now." Ahmet refused to stop. He continued to dig with his bare hands until he was covered in wounds and blood. Hours passed, dust was everywhere and he was very exhausted, but he did not give up and did not leave his place. People came to him and said; "No one can survive in the rubble for more than 24 hours. It's too late. You'd better stop digging," they said, but he thought: "No! Don't let it be too late. Even if they were dead, I would have done my part." Finally, after 10 hours of terrible struggle, Ahmet lifted a large stone that led to an empty area in the rubble and heard the groans. He called his family by name and heard a response, "We're here, Dad. We're still alive!" The father stretched out his arm to hold his wife and children and took them out. They finally came out. The father gently hugged them, kissed their dust-covered faces, cried with happiness, and told them how he had struggled with his despair and how proud and happy he was that he had not given in to his fears and doubts. Then Ahmet helped his wife and took their 2 children in his arms. Finally, he climbed onto the rubble and reached the rescue workers who were trying to stop him, looking at them with teary eyes and shouting, "They're still alive...they're still alive!" said.

Although the father had reason to believe that it was too late and that he should not have attempted to call his family, he refused to give in. What was the result of this decision?

Even if a problem doesn't seem like it's even worth trying, why try anyway?

3. There Is No Food Without Labor

Being the only boy in a family of 3 sisters saved me a lot of time while my sisters did all the housework and served me! I was a spoiled young man! I spent that time jogging in the mornings and going to the gym at nights. I did this 6 days a week during high school and college. I had gained very good resistance to diseases. I liked it.

But they said: "change of situation is inevitable" and this is true. After graduating from university, I went abroad to continue studying. It was my first time living alone. I had to change my lifestyle to adapt to my new busy independent life. My studies were taking up ninety percent of my time, and I wanted everything else to be over very quickly. I slept less, gradually stopped exercising, and adopted the habit of buying fast food for lunch and dinner (I didn't have breakfast). Stress was also another change that occurred in my new life.

After 2 years, my graduate studies ended. I received my Master's certificate in Biological Engineering. In addition, my university offered me a job in my home country. I was proud of my accomplishments, but embarrassed to see the other side of the coin when I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw the price of living a fast life: I was less fit and had gained a lot of weight.

I knew it was my new lifestyle that was causing this. I thought to myself, "Well, I can turn this around. I'm not a student anymore. All I have to do is study. The rest of my time, I can use by exercising and cooking healthy meals." I researched online and found the best exercises for fitness. In order for these exercises to bring results, they had to be done daily. I tried hard to do them on a daily basis, but many times I would put it off for a day or two due to overtime, lack of desire to exercise, or other less important reasons. Every time I didn't exercise, I would stop my entire exercise cycle and idle for a while until I got enough motivation. I can't tell you how many times I stopped exercising and started again in 5 years!

I never stopped trying. I believed that life would never get less busy and that I would never be fit unless I did something about it, just like they say: "there is no food without labor." I realized something I never realized before, I had to change the way I tried. This time, I decided to talk about my troubles with a colleague. Surprisingly, he was also facing the same predicament. He was a diabetic and his doctor recommended that he exercise daily (in addition to taking his medications). "It seems like life never gets any less busy. I can't even find 30 minutes of time to exercise on a daily basis," I was told in frustration. I asked him: "Have you tried to exercise with anyone?"

"No," he said. So I asked him if we could work together. "Of course, if it will be beneficial, why not," he said. So we promised to help each other.

This agreement made exercise a necessity for both of us. We adjusted our timetables to squeeze in our new program. We met every day, and when one of us was less energetic or lacked the desire to work, the other would encourage him. Some days we went so far that one of us would go to the other's house and hold his arm and encourage him to exercise. Yes, it wasn't as easy as it seemed, but when we completed one full cycle in a month, we both felt a change. We were very excited and motivated enough to complete the second loop. Our health had begun to change dramatically in the second cycle.

After three months of determination and regular exercise, we both achieved our goals... My friend got off his diabetes medications and became fit again! I know 3 months may seem simple to you, but believe me, it took dedication, patience and effort. Just like any goal in your life, don't expect to get something if you don't give something of yourself first.

What was the real reason why the author lost weight?

As the author mentioned, do you believe that trying a different path is necessary for success?

4. Flaunting

Hasan was a typical man who gained a lot of weight after marriage. He didn't like this, so he began consulting colleagues and acquaintances to gather as many ideas as possible to help him decide what he should do to lose weight. They told him: "Foods containing carbohydrates, such as rice, bread and pasta, have a significant effect on weight gain. You need to eliminate them from your diet. Of course, you should also exercise to get better results."

This also resonated with Hasan and everyone else he talked to. Undeterred, Hasan planned his no-carb diet for the next month (it didn't include vegetables, legumes, or any healthy carbohydrate foods), shared it with his wife, and researched the best fitness exercises. Then it started as soon as possible.

A month has passed and Hasan has lost 15 kilograms! He was very proud of his success and decided to continue, while he started having some problems that got worse over time. Hasan became tired more quickly while exercising and experienced symptoms such as constipation, rash, bad breath, and feeling generally sluggish.

Initially, Hasan had treated his ailments for a while, but was surprised to find that they persisted permanently: "I live a healthy life. I eat very low-carb meals and exercise every day. Why do I feel weaker and sicker?" he thought. So he went to a doctor who prescribed some medications that would only treat his symptoms. Hasan felt a little improvement, but when he finished his medication, he felt weak again and the same symptoms appeared again. So he visited another doctor who prescribed different medications that treated the symptoms. However, after the treatment plan was finished, he felt weak again.

Hasan then had blood tests done and consulted a third doctor, who referred the results to a dietitian. After seeing the results, the dietitian wanted to know Hasan's diet plan. "To lose weight, I ate carbohydrate-free meals. I was very careful to avoid all carbohydrates, including vegetables and legumes," said Hasan. This showed the dietician very clearly the reason behind Hasan's illnesses. He said: "What you're doing is nothing more than trimming and flaking. Although you may lose weight quickly, and it's true that low-carb diets lose more weight than other diets, diets that restrict carbohydrate intake give you in one place and take away from you in another. Meaning, while it gives you an advantage, it also gives you a disadvantage. And that's what your low-carb diet did to you; it cost you your health in the name of helping you lose weight quickly!"

What was Hasan's purpose? How did he try to reach her? Was he sincerely motivated to do so? Why do you think Hasan harmed himself as a result?

Hasan was trying to solve the obesity problem, but it started to create new problems. Have you ever solved a problem by creating another problem?

5. Tell Your Friend and I'll Tell You Who You Are

If you think you can socialize with your friends without internalizing their values or habits, please read on.

I am married and I have two sons whom I love very much. I love spending time with my family. Even after a long and tiring day at work, I leave my workload at work when I come home. No matter how busy my work day is, I make sure to set aside a few sacred hours for my family in the evenings. My family likes this trait of mine because they know it brings us closer.

This never changed until two years ago, when I resigned from my old job after finding a better opportunity at another company. I made good friends at my new workplace and I loved my friends at my new job, especially since I had no friends at my old workplace. My team consisted of seven single men. They were fun and eased the workload on me. I enjoyed being with them. They loved me too.

These single friends of mine spent their time outside together every evening. They would spend their evenings going to the cinema, a restaurant or a cafe. Since we became close friends, they invited me to be with them every night. I initially declined their invitation and they didn't like it. But I explained to them that being married is different from a single life. They told me: "How might spending time with us affect your family?"

Not wanting to disappoint them with me, I accepted their invitations on some evenings and declined the rest. They were happy with me when I agreed, and they weren't happy with me when I didn't. On the other hand, the nights I spent with them meant that I was returning home late, thus postponing my time with my family. The next day, early in the morning, my children were asking me why I didn't spend time with them the night before. The sad look in his eyes gave me a reason to decline my friends' invitation that day. However, when I was at work, my friends would persuade me to go out with them and I would agree.

The conflict within me between the need to spend time with my family and the desire to spend time with my friends did not last long. Unfortunately, I was slowly starting to go out every night with my friends. After a month it became a habit and I found myself convincing them to go out even if they didn't want to!

As a result this took away from my time with my family, I was no longer playing with my children and my wife became very unhappy with me. How I overcame it is another story, but believe me, at first I never thought that my friends' habit would become my habit, but as they say: "Tell me your friend and I will tell you who you are".

Do you think the author ever thought at the beginning that he would neglect his family?

What was the real reason why the author went from spending time with his family on a daily basis to suddenly completely neglecting his family?

6. Don't Leave Today's Work for Tomorrow

"I have endless time in my life to learn these things," said Ali, who rejected his father's call to teach him how to repair the kitchen sink and went to watch television.

Ali was only seven years old when his family noticed his tendency towards laziness. By the age of 10, he was sleeping late and was always late for classes. He didn't enjoy studying for his classes and learning general life skills. His family tried to encourage and motivate him to learn new skills that would benefit him now and in the future, but he always said it wouldn't hurt to delay learning while he was still young. “I have a whole life to learn.” he would say.

His parents forced him to study until he finished school. Ali was now a college-aged teenager and his parents could no longer force him. As Ali grew older, his habit of procrastination also grew. While at university, he had a tendency to postpone his studies and attending workshop classes because he felt that he was still too young to worry about learning.

As a result, Ali failed his exams and had to repeat 2 academic years, preventing him from graduating with his classmates. After graduation, he applied for different jobs, but unfortunately he was not accepted because he did not have any skills or qualifications needed for these jobs. So Ali thought to himself, "Okay, I'm still young and I still have time to apply for the courses and obtain the required qualifications to get hired." And so he did. He continued studying and received the necessary certifications two years later. Ali applied again for the jobs he wanted, but unfortunately, this time he was rejected because he was an over-age graduate. Only then did he realize that he was not as young as he thought.

Ali thought he was too young to learn. What were the results?

Ali thought he could turn things around by obtaining the necessary qualifications. Did this really work for him?

Why is it important not to procrastinate?